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The First Ever (I think) Bishel Fanfic! Written by Quis, Edited by Indy All was well. Indyana was running around the Creature Refuge with Pierre, trying to get all of the creatures moved into their new, better looking and more comfortable spots. Elsewhere in an undisclosed location in the Bishen Realm, the insane Golden Celestial four-legged, seraph-winged, horned, fanged, clawed, Terran-Arboreal Bishel, The Mighty Gratira (T.M.G.), sat on her throne made of html and watched movies. T.M.G.: I've memorized the entire scripts of Fellowship and Two Towers! ^_^! Yes, yes you have. (scene changes to show the empty Shantel area) ENTER our intrepid explorers, Alucinor and Decertare, who are on an adventure! *trumpet fanfare* (because Salus was too smart to allow himself to be involved, and Carcassi is... Carcassi.) Carcassi: My full name, if you please. That is to say, Carcassi Kerluni'tomas. o_o;; Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: Much better. Er, yes. *sigh of relief* Now then, as I was saying, enter the explorers to begin the adventure! *trumpet fanfare* (Alucinor and Decertare glide and walk into the empty Shantel area, numerous breath weapons hanging from their necks and wearing their Christmas presents.) Alucinor: Hear that? We're on an adventure! *trumpet fanfare* ^_^! Decertare: They haven't even told us what it /is/ yet. How do you know it's a /good/ adventure? *trumpet fanfa-* WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT! And who in BLAZES is that talking? *is now quite irritated* Me: It's me, Quis. Alucinor: *looks around in confusion* Quis? What happened to you?! Where are you? @_@ Me: ...not that Quis, a different one. (I knew I shouldn't have named a character after myself.) Alu: Oh, okay then! *^_^ once more* Decertare: ...do either of you realize how little sense that makes? Me: You don't have time to worry about it anyway. You have an ADVENTURE! *trumpet fanfare* Decertare: ...Okay, what is it then? Me: You have to, um...get something. Decertare: Get /what/? Me: I don't know yet. Just walk around and look for the resident bishel dragons, and we'll work from there. Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: Oh, /do/ make whatever they're finding be in the ocean. *hissing chuckle* Me: ...no. Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: *silence* ...are you completely certain that you want to say no to me? Me: *twitching from horrible mental images* Look, go away and I'll let you kill a whale. They're near sentient! Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: ...deal. Alucinor and Decertare: ...What the heck was that? Me: Aren't you supposed to be looking for something? Alucinor: Yes! *happily glides off towards the Creature Refuge* Decertare: *shakes her head and sighs, but follows Alu* In the land of the insane, follow the insane. Me: That's OUTsane. Decertare: ...
INTERMISSION
(Alucinor and Decertare happily and not so happily make their way to the forest area of the Refuge, bravely dodging broken links and missing bits of html) Decertare: *leaps through the trees ahead of Alucinor and breathes flame on a broken link* HAH! DIE EVIL BROKEN LINK, DIE! Alucinor: Decertare, I think that was just a bush. Decertare: So? >_> *they continue walking through the forest, which looks normal now that they're past most of the links.* Alucinor: The trees here are so much prettier than I remember them being when Quis and I last came! *with a rustling crash, Jarod bursts out of the trees and brush, and hovers in front of Alucinor and Decertare- who don't notice and walk right past him.* Jarod: Hey! HEY! *Alu and Decertare continue on* Jarod: Grr... *pulls out the staff Lady Juliette gave him, flies forward, and bonks both dragons on the head with it* Alu and Decertare: Ow, hey! x_o Alu: Hey, hi Jarod! I didn't see you! Wow, you look great! Have you been working out? Lost weight? O_O; Jarod: *sweatdrop* Um, thanks. But look, I'm supposed to give you... THIS! *Jarod dramatically reaches into a pack he's wearing and produces... two large feathers!* Alucinor: Hey, neat! O_O *gently takes the feathers* What are they from? Do they do anything? Where did you find them? Decertare: I, uh, I think he means to ask what we're supposed to DO with them. *pokes Alu* Alucinor: Yeah, what ARE we supposed to do with them? Jarod: I've no idea- I was just supposed to give them to you. Figuring that out is part of your ADVENTURE! *trumpet fanfare* For the next piece of the puzzle, travel to the Obsidian Sea and find my mate Athena. Decertare: Hey, looks like that stupid Disembodied Voice Quis finally figured out what the point of this adven- er, this THING is supposed to be. Me: Hey! Decertare: *mockingly* You don't have time to worry about it- aren't you supposed to be writing something? Stupid Disembodied Voice Quis: grr... AH, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NAME?! Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: *chuckle* Payback... Decertare: *rolling on the ground and laughing uncontrollably* Stupid Disembodied Voice Quis: Oh yeah? *types furiously* AND ALL OF THE FEMALE BISHEL DRAGONS TURNED BRIGHT PINK! Decertare: AH! Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: ... Athena: HEY! I didn't do anything! Me: Whoops, sorry. *all of the dragons turn back to normal coloration* Decertare: Let's just get this over with...
INTERMISSION TAKE TWO
And so, Alucinor uses his Wayward Arrowhead to find them the quickest route to the Obsidian Sea. Decertare: We'll I'll be cursed, it DOES do something! And here I thought it was just a fancy rock. (They pass Blazing Star's empty cave) Decertare: Hey, that's right, aren't we supposed to be looking for her? Me: You will, you will. But you have to finish this first! Decertare: Fine, fine. *rolls eyes* (before Decertare gets too annoyed and starts burning perfectly good html, they arrive at the edge of the Obsidian Sea. Rather than having to float around in a bubble to find her, Athena is already waiting at the shore.) Alucinor: Aw, and I wanted to go swimming for sea shells again. Decertare: It would probably ruin your cape anyway. Athena: Thank goodness you've arrived safely! I've been waiting. Decertare: Why wait for us? I thought we were supposed to find you as a part of the Thing. Athena: You were, but after the pink incident Quis didn't want to risk putting you two in the ocean. *sweatdrop* Anyway, let me get your items. *They wait, Decertare having to restrain Alucinor from going swimming despite the warning, and after a minute Athena returns. She holds a magic air bubble containing...* Athena: Two pieces of paper! Decertare: *takes them* Thank you Athena. Alucinor: Is it MAGIC PAPER? Athena: Er, well no, it's just... paper. *she shrugs* Alu: Darn! (they say goodbye to Athena, who swims off) Decertare: Well, I suppose we should find Pierre now, but you said at the beginning that he was running around with Indyana. Me: Yes, I suppose I did. Decertare: So can I ask a favor, from the very depths of my heart? Me: What? Decertare: Can we PLEASE just FIND him already? This is getting boring @_@ Me: Oh... all right. Alucinor: No searching? Aw x_x
INTERMISSION/COFFEE BREAK
(In a lovely, dramatic, magical poof of colored dust, Alucinor and Decertare appear in front of Indyana and Pierre, who are in the main office of the Refuge. Neither seems surprised at the method of transportation.) Indy: Do you have a permit for transportation magic inside the Refuge? Me: They don't have a permit for it, but I have an artistic license for author related emergencies. Indy: That works, then. Alucinor: Hello Miss Indy! *hovers excitedly in front of Indyana and starts chattering* Decertare: *edges away and turns to Pierre* Anyway, I believe we're supposed to ask if you're holding anything for us? Pierre: Ah, yes, Clarinet used her orb and told me that you would be coming. Just a moment. *he rummages around in the desk for a moment and comes back with...* Pierre: Here you are, a bottle of ink! Decertare: ...I'm not even going to ask. Come on Alucinor. *she takes the ink and tugs Alu away by the tail* Thanks Pierre. Alucinor: Aw, but we weren't done! Indy: *in a whispering aside to Alucinor only* Don't worry, dear, we'll discuss the other members of our crime fighting team later. Alucinor: *chuckle* Me: Okay guys, you're almost finished! Make your way back to the Shantel area and I'll tell you how to finish the Quest. Decertare: Thank the powers that be. @_@
WITHOUT FURTHER ADU
(Alucinor and Decertare arrive in the Shanel bowl to find Salus
waiting for them.) Alucinor: *puzzled, staring at Salus* Hello, who are you? Salus: *sighs tiredly* Don't worry about it, Quis just wanted to include me. Not as though she doesn't have more IMPORTANT things to write about me doing. Me: Yes, I know, the sooner I get your main plot rolling the less poor Nissa has to wait. Just work with me okay? Salus: *sighs again and gestures with one hand/claw/paw to a perfectly
smooth spot on the ground. The items that Decertare and Alucinor have been
carrying magically float over- the papers spread themselves out, the ink
well sits in the middle with the feather quills sitting in it.* Here
stands the great, heroic climax of your Quest, if you dare to finish it.
Your final task is to... Alucinor: *glides over to the papers with a look of fierce intensity, and begins writing immediately, holding the quill in his tail* Decertare: All that to write notes? You're kidding me right? *she looks around and, receiving no answer, walks over and starts writing herself with much growling and grinding of teeth* WHY we couldn't just BUY these things is beyond me... Salus: May I go home now, please? Me: Yes. *a river magically appears, and Salus slides into it, swimming back out to the ocean*
FINALLY
*Alucinor and Decertare set down their quills and sit back, panting and covered in smudges and slashes of ink as if they have fought a great battle* Alucinor: *falls over and passes out on the spot, as he is wont to do* Decertare: Whew! That was harder than I thought! What now? Me: Now you must journey to The Mighty Gratira's Cavern of the Undisclosed Location! Decertare: If you don't know where it is, how do we get there? *prods Alucinor awake* Me: Easy, I'll just make you a link. Decertare: ...I don't want to know anymore, I really don't. *they both pass through the magical door* Alucinor: Greentings, oh, Great Mighty Gratira! Decertare and I have undergone a great Quest through the Creature Refuge, braved broken links and finally even the Terrible Writer's Block to bring to you, these, our thank you notes! *Alucinor, who is apparently better at this sort of thing, bows with a flourish and presents their thank you notes before the throne* T.M.G.: Thank you, young Alucinor and cynical Decertare! That is very polite of you! I would have just set the supplies out for you in one place, but do you have any idea how hard it is to actually get AROUND on four legs and six wings? *Alucinor and Decertare look at each other* Uh, no, I suppose we don't. Decertare: *looks around* But, if I may ask ma'am, but what do we do now? T.M.G.: *types furiously for a moment, and two more chairs appear, complete with giant bowls of popcorn* Have a seat? Alucinor: Yes, thank you! *lands in a seat and stars ravenously munching popcorn* Decertare: *tentatively seats herself as well* Thank you... which wall is the action movies? Me: And so, we come to a happy ending for all! Carcassi Kerluni'tomas: *darkly* A happy ending for THEM you mean, Quissie... ...o_o;; FIN(ally)! |